00;00;00;00 - 00;00;11;19
Unknown
Hey, I'm recording this for a podcast is okay.
00;00;11;21 - 00;00;32;02
Unknown
Absolutely. No problem at all. I'm happy to help and I'm glad to be part of the brainstorming. Just let me know if you need anything else for the podcast or otherwise. Okay. So in this thread, we're kind of closing up act one in the story that we've been writing. I don't really have a name for it right now.
00;00;32;02 - 00;00;54;19
Unknown
I've just been calling it story one. Can you give me like, a in-depth briefing of this thread just to catch myself and, anybody who may be familiar with the story a little bit where we left off.
00;00;54;21 - 00;01;20;28
Unknown
Of course. So let's do a quick recap of what we've been shaping up as we wind down. Act one of story one. I love that working title. So the main concept we've been exploring is that we have a father who's being gradually manipulated by an antagonist. This antagonist is kind of working behind the scenes, using subtle psychological tactics to isolate the father from his sources of stability.
00;01;21;01 - 00;01;47;09
Unknown
We've identified these as things like his job, his routines, his friendships, and eventually even his bond with his daughters. Now, the piece we've been focusing on is how the father is becoming more and more irritable at home, especially with Olivia, the older daughter, the cats who are sort of our detective observers, are noticing these changes, but at first they rationalize it away because they see the father happy.
00;01;47;16 - 00;02;43;04
Unknown
During these video calls with the antagonists. Thing in the father's life at the moment, as we talked about, the antagonist is gradually breaking down the father's stability. Step by step. We listed these steps in an order versus job. Then. Chat. We got cut off there. Can you pick up where you were talking? You're giving us a detailed briefing of what we've talked about recently in this thread about our story in The Father and stuff like that, and you're in the process of telling us about, the, the process of the father's, I guess, the, the five steps, I think maybe six steps of, breaking the father down.
00;02;43;06 - 00;03;12;02
Unknown
Of course. Let me pick right back up. So we had outlined that the antagonist essentially has a sort of step by step plan to undermine the father's stability. We talked through about five steps. The first was targeting his job stability. The second was straining his routine. The third was isolating him from friends. The fourth was interfering with his relationship with his daughters, and then the fifth was eroding the fond memories or emotional bonds he had with his late wife.
00;03;12;04 - 00;03;41;08
Unknown
And we kind of place them in an order that made sense for the antagonist to gradually break them down. The idea was that the cards would only start noticing around step four, when the father's behavior towards Olivia became a lot more noticeable, and that would be a check point for the cast to start piecing things together. So essentially, the antagonist first step with Lily was to subtly pull her in by making her think that keeping her dad happy was a good thing, and then using that to draw her closer into his influence.
00;03;41;11 - 00;04;03;23
Unknown
And that way, the antagonist can kind of love on the father in front of Lily to make her think this is all a positive thing. So that's pretty much the summary of where we were. Let me know if you need more detail on any of that. Tell me about the kind of towards the end of our thread and, and pulling Lily in, because we haven't really developed Lily a lot as a character.
00;04;04;11 - 00;04;30;18
Unknown
Just in with respect to her relationship to her sister a bit. I think a lot of that will a lot of Lily will come out when, when we do the second draft of actually, like, putting the pieces in place and stuff like that. But, tell me a little bit more.
00;04;30;20 - 00;04;52;04
Unknown
Absolutely. I think you're right that a lot of Lily's depth will emerge more naturally as you go into a second draft and start layering in those subtle details. For now, just to add a bit more, we can imagine that Lily might be the kind of character who is very empathetic, very attuned to her father's moods, and maybe has a bit of a caretaker streak in her.
00;04;52;07 - 00;05;13;06
Unknown
That's why she's drawn into thinking that if she can just help her dad feel better, then everything will be okay. And that kind of sets her up to be a little bit more vulnerable to the antagonist influence. So as we go along, we can definitely flesh that out more. But for now, I think we've got a solid foundation and like you said, we can develop those layers more in the next draft.
00;05;13;08 - 00;05;19;05
Unknown
Let's keep going from there. Next time.
00;05;19;08 - 00;05;40;26
Unknown
Okay, so, I think we wrote the scenes. Correct me if I'm wrong. Actually, what scenes did we write in this thread? And can you give me a little bit on each scene?
00;05;40;29 - 00;06;00;23
Unknown
Sure thing. So in this thread, we mostly brainstormed and mapped out the storyline rather than writing fully fleshed out scenes. But let me give you a quick rundown of the scenes we conceptually put together one. The window brainstorming scene. We imagine the two cats sitting by a window, kind of like little detectives trying to figure out what's going on with the family.
00;06;00;26 - 00;06;25;09
Unknown
They notice that the father is acting differently and that Olivia is upset. The scene is more about them piecing together the changes in mood and behavior. The Father's Day to day deterioration. We talked through a conceptual scene where the father is gradually losing his routine and job stability. We didn't write it out line by line, but we set the stage for how the cats would notice he's at home more often and getting more stressed.
00;06;25;11 - 00;06;50;25
Unknown
Lily's involvement scene. We discuss how Lily would get pulled down by the antagonist manipulation. This is more of a conceptual scene where she's convinced that helping her father with the clay or cheering him up will fix things, and we see her motivations in how she rationalizes what's happening, the antagonist step, and Lily's perspective. Finally, we laid out the roadmap of the antagonist plan and how Lily would be slowly drawn into it.
00;06;50;27 - 00;07;11;15
Unknown
We didn't read each scene in full, but we mapped out how these scenes will fit together and how Lily would interpret the father's shift. The mood. In short, we mostly created a strong outline and a few conceptual snippets rather than fully written scenes, but that gives you a nice roadmap to work with in the next draft.
00;07;11;17 - 00;07;44;24
Unknown
Okay, knowing that we are making our way to homecoming, the homecoming game where Olivia is playing piccolo and, that's kind of a big deal. We we have the Frodo scene where the father, like, really rips her down. And then this gives us an opportunity to kind of give Lily, like, a courageous heart. And then it also does some other kind of nuance.
00;07;46;01 - 00;08;08;11
Unknown
In there, we have the. We have Olivia coming home. We have the cats as detectives. What is your idea to kind of go into the end of act one here?
00;08;08;14 - 00;08;28;05
Unknown
All right. So heading toward the end of act one and bringing in that homecoming game moment is a great idea. You've got this pivotal scene where Olivia is playing the piccolo, and it's a big deal for her. And that froyo scene where the father really tears into Olivia can be the emotional tipping point that pushes everyone to realize something's really wrong.
00;08;28;07 - 00;08;48;23
Unknown
I think as we wrap up act one, it might be powerful to have Lily step up courageously in a small way, maybe confronting her father, or at least showing some real backbone that surprises even the cat. And that moment can be a kind of wake up call where everyone starts to put the pieces together. The father's behavior isn't just random, and there's something deeper going on.
00;08;48;26 - 00;09;07;15
Unknown
So as we close that one, you can end on that note a realization the cats rely on their instincts for right? Lily finds her voice, and Olivia makes it clear that they can't just ignore what's happening anymore. Things are set up nicely to dive into act two, with everyone on a mission to figure out what's really going on and how to fix it.
00;09;07;18 - 00;09;39;13
Unknown
No? So that's pretty much what we just wrote. So, Lily does step up for Olivia in the yogurt scene, and then, I think, I want I don't want to bias you, but I'm gonna I'm going to tell you my idea after you give me, and maybe 1 or 2 more novel ideas just to kind of put it out there.
00;09;39;15 - 00;09;57;12
Unknown
Absolutely. I love two. There are a couple more ideas into the mix to see what resonate. One possible angle is that after Lily stands up for Olivia, the over shop, maybe there's a quiet scene that night where the two sisters actually have a heart to heart. Maybe Olivia admits how much it meant to her that Lily stood up for her.
00;09;57;15 - 00;10;22;27
Unknown
That way, we get a real bonding moment that makes it clear home or iness to both of them. Another novel twist could be that the cats actually decide to do something a little mischievous, like they knock over some of the father's pottery, or cause a little chaos that night. It could be a tiny comedic beat that shows they're not just passive observers, they're actually trying in their own cat way to disrupt the father's behavior or draw attention to how off things are.
00;10;22;29 - 00;10;38;21
Unknown
Once you've got these little sparks, we can weave them in to create that final build up and to add to. And of course, feel free to share your idea to. Let's see how they all fit together.
00;10;38;24 - 00;11;11;26
Unknown
Okay, so I think that will work. What we're going to do here is, I like the cat scene where they're kind of playing detective by like a rainy window after they've, after Olivia's cried herself to sleep and they have a conversation, and they come, they come home, maybe they go in the cat door after I wanted to kind of like an action packed scene, maybe.
00;11;13;04 - 00;11;48;01
Unknown
But I want to keep that same vibe. So, long story short, that scene, what I think that I want to do is I almost want to end it in kind of like a a Shakespearean, kind of foreboding scene, like one of those scenes where they're really, talking about something and kind of foreshadowing.
00;11;48;04 - 00;12;09;15
Unknown
Absolutely. That sounds like a really cool tone to end on. I love the idea of giving it that almost Shakespearean, ominous vibe, like the cats are perched by the window. Maybe the rain is tapping on the glass and they're having this conversation about the storm. They sense it's coming. They can think like the family's on the brink of something, even if they don't have all the answers yet.
00;12;09;18 - 00;12;30;00
Unknown
You can have one cat say something like, the air is changing and we're not just imagining it. Something's in the wind. Just a hint of that foreshadowing to close out act one, making it clear that the next act is going to be about uncovering what's really going on. I think that'll give you a really strong, meaty ending, at least perfectly into the next part of the story.
00;12;30;03 - 00;12;56;19
Unknown
What's wrong with that? Okay, so that's not going to end act one. The end of act one is going to be, Olivia, getting, getting like, having a really bad time at homecoming. Right? We've already talked about that scene, but, what I would like to do now is I would actually like to kind of talk about some of the Shakespeare plays.
00;12;56;21 - 00;13;26;21
Unknown
And I would like you to give me examples of like, we're kind of coming to like, like the, the, the conflict is kind of coming to a head or like, maybe not coming to a head, but like, other situations like this where the characters can kind of sense that something big is coming.
00;13;26;23 - 00;13;52;08
Unknown
Absolutely. Let's dip into a little Shakespearean inspiration. Shakespeare is full of those moments where characters sense that a storm is brewing, even if they can't put their finger on exactly what it is. For example, in Julius Caesar, there are all these omens and soothsayers warning that something is off. Characters notice strange storms or unnatural events, and it builds a sense of tension that something big is going to happen.
00;13;52;11 - 00;14;13;17
Unknown
Or a macbeth. You have the witches at the very beginning, foreshadowing all the chaos to come. And later nature itself seems to mirror the turmoil in the human world. The characters sense that the night is unruly, and it sets up that feeling that big changes are on the horizon. In your story, you can have a similar vibe. The cats out the window could almost echo that sense of foreboding.
00;14;13;19 - 00;14;34;28
Unknown
Maybe one of the muses that the house doesn't feel like it used to, or that there's a heavy quiet that wasn't there before. It doesn't have to be literal prophecy, just that atmospheric hint that the family's heading into a store. So you can definitely channel a bit of that Shakespearean mood and give the cast a chance to foreshadow that the next act is going to be a lot more intense.
00;14;35;00 - 00;14;46;28
Unknown
Okay, tell me about the witches in the beginning of Macbeth. It's been a really long time since I read that.
00;14;47;00 - 00;15;07;14
Unknown
Of course, the opening scene with The Witches and Macbeth is one of those classic eerie foreshadowing moments. Basically, the play starts with these three witches meeting on a dark and stormy heath. They talk in these cryptic chanting tones, saying things like fairies foul and foul affair, which is a way of hinting that everything is about to be turned upside down.
00;15;07;16 - 00;15;31;26
Unknown
They plan to meet again after a battle is over, on a day they say will be both lost and won. And that's when they plan to encounter Macbeth. So right from the start. These witches set the tone that something supernatural and unsettling is going on. They don't spell out everything that's going to happen, but they let the audience know that Macbeth is going to be pulled into a world where the natural order of things is going to get pretty twisted.
00;15;31;28 - 00;15;50;20
Unknown
In other words, that opening scene is all about creating a sense of eerie anticipation. The witches are basically there to signal that fate is at work, and that the characters are heading into dark waters, even if they don't know it yet. So if you're dying from that, you can think of it like giving your story a subtle whisper of things to come.
00;15;50;23 - 00;16;12;02
Unknown
Just a hint that bigger forces are at play. Can you give me, a snippet from the text of Macbeth that, really exemplifies what we're talking about?
00;16;12;04 - 00;16;33;04
Unknown
Absolutely. Here's a well-known snippet from the very start of Macbeth. When the witches first appear and set that eerie, foreboding tone, they say, when shall we meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain? When the hurly burly is done. When the battle's lost. Someone that will be there. The set of fun. And of course they chant. That famous line.
00;16;33;06 - 00;16;57;09
Unknown
Very foul and foul is fair. However, due to the fog and filthy air, this kind of language is all about setting a mood that the natural order is going to be turned upside down. The witches are basically saying that what seems good will become bad, and what seems bad will become good. It's a classic bit of foreshadowing that something big and disruptive is about to unfold.
00;16;57;12 - 00;17;16;23
Unknown
Okay, let's talk about, Julius Caesar and the kind of foreboding nature of scenes like this.
00;17;16;25 - 00;17;39;05
Unknown
Is another great example of that sense of looming danger and foreshadowing. Early in the play, there's a famous scene where the soothsayer warns Caesar to beware the Ides of March. That line a check. Can you pick up where you left off?
00;17;39;08 - 00;18;09;16
Unknown
Absolutely. I've got it. We were talking about how to weave that sense of looming tension into your own story. So just like those witches foreshadow the chaos of Macbeth, you can definitely play with a subtle moment where your character's sense that the stakes are about to get a lot higher. Let's keep building on that atmosphere. Now, I want you to tell me, about the foreboding elements of Julius Caesar.
00;18;09;19 - 00;18;32;15
Unknown
Certainly, Julius Caesar is another Shakespeare play that's rich with foreboding elements. One of the most famous is the so-called Ides of March. Warning a soothsayer basically comes up to Caesar early on and warn him beware the Ides of March, which is a direct hint that something terrible is going to happen on that date. Caesar kind of brushes it off, but the audience knows this is a big red flag.
00;18;32;18 - 00;18;56;19
Unknown
Throughout the play, you get these ominous signs and dreams like Caesar's Wife Calpurnia, having nightmares about his murder or strange storms and lions wandering the streets. All of these are like layers of foreshadowing that build a sense of inevitable tragedy. So in Julius Caesar, the foreboding isn't just a one time hit. It's a series of unsettling warnings and symbol that create this growing tension.
00;18;56;21 - 00;19;07;28
Unknown
It's the sense that everyone but Caesar can feel the storm coming, which really cranks up the drama.
00;19;08;00 - 00;19;22;19
Unknown
Interesting. Tell me more. Okay, let's get let's do another Shakespearean example. Stuff like this.
00;19;22;21 - 00;19;48;14
Unknown
Sure. Another good example is in hamlet. And that play, the sense of foreboding really starts when the ghost of Hamlet's father appears on the castle walls. The ghost is a super eerie figure who sets the whole revenge plot into motion. It's like the universe is whispering that something is deeply wrong in Denmark, and hamlet himself starts feeling that sense of unease and doom from the moment he sees the ghost.
00;19;48;16 - 00;20;10;29
Unknown
Then there's that famous line something is rotten in the state of Denmark, which basically sums up that everyone feels that dark tension in the air. It's not just hamlet, it's the whole atmosphere of the court that's thick with suspicion and a sense that things are unraveling. So hamlet uses that ghostly encounter in those unsettling lines to signal that a tragic unraveling is on the way.
00;20;11;01 - 00;20;21;15
Unknown
It's another great Shakespearean example of using a supernatural or ominous sign to push out of the conflict. Coming to a head.
00;20;21;18 - 00;20;35;02
Unknown
Okay, can you give me an example like this? That's a non Shakespeare example. Could be a movie, could be literary, could be anything.
00;20;35;04 - 00;20;57;08
Unknown
Absolutely. Let's pull a non Shakespearean example. One classic modern literary incident is from The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald. In that novel, there's a recurring image of the green light at the end of Daisy's dock. It's not as supernatural as a ghost or a witch, but it works as a symbol of Gatsby's unreachable dreams and a sense that something is inevitably doomed.
00;20;57;10 - 00;21;18;28
Unknown
Every time Gatsby stares out at that light, there's this joyous sense of foreboding that his dream is never going to turn out the way he hopes. Or if you want to film example, think of something like jaws. You know how the movie uses that symbol. Ominous music that then then, then, then before the shark appears, that music is basically a signal to the audience that something bad is about to happen.
00;21;19;01 - 00;21;45;05
Unknown
Even the movie where you see the shark, you know, trouble is coming, and it builds that sense of suspense and inevitability. So whether it's a novel or a player movie, those little signals and symbols help set the stage that something big is about to go down. Okay, let's keep going through movies that you think that I've probably seen and, maybe let's pick some, like, unsettling lines.
00;21;45;05 - 00;21;57;24
Unknown
I like this idea of like, the cat saying something that kind of makes your skin crawl.
00;21;57;27 - 00;22;15;08
Unknown
Absolutely. We can do that. Let's think of a few iconic movie lines that really send a shiver down your spine. One that comes to mind is from The Sixth Sense, where the little boy says, I see dead people. It's simple, but it instantly makes you realize there's a creepy layer to the story that you hadn't fully seen before.
00;22;15;10 - 00;22;43;14
Unknown
Another classic, unsettling line is from The Shining, when a little boy, Danny, goes around chanting Red rum, red rum, you know it's murder. Spelled backwards. And it just adds this layer of ominous dread that something terrible is going to happen. Or if we're talking about a more recent film, Get Out has that super unsettling moment where the character just repeats, no, no, no, no, no in this unnervingly before snappy back and forth smile, that kind of line, it lets you know things are not what they seem.
00;22;43;14 - 00;22;54;29
Unknown
So imagine a cat's having a line like that. Something simple but eerie. I could definitely add that same skin crawling back to your theme.
00;22;55;02 - 00;23;27;08
Unknown
Okay, let's jump into that scene. Olivia just came back from the really, like, horrible time of her father, kind of, telling her in, in a certain way that, like, her piccolo solo isn't that big of a deal, and, like, maybe she's not even that good at it. And then she comes home, she cries herself to sleep.
00;23;27;08 - 00;24;06;23
Unknown
The cats put her to bed, and the cat scene picks up, as one cat is, maybe Oscar is sitting at the window and his brother Charlie comes up, and and then they start discussing this. Let's let's kind of write this scene, right there. They're brainstorming about what could be happening. And let's talk about, kind of unsettling lines.
00;24;06;25 - 00;24;27;07
Unknown
Sure. Let's sketch that out. So you've got Olivia, who's just had her confidence shaken. She's had this lifetime, and the house is quiet. Maybe Oscar's perched up by the window just watching the raindrops slide down, and Charlie hops up next to him. And not just ordinary cats. They're kind of like the little bit like Denis piecing together what's going on with their humans.
00;24;27;15 - 00;24;47;06
Unknown
So might say something like, it's strange, you know, the house doesn't feel the same. It's like something's creeping in that we can't see. And generally being the more cautious or perhaps slightly more intuitive, one might respond. Yes. Like there's a shadow in the corners whispering to him. We never see it, but we can feel it. And then maybe Oscar could drop that unsettling line.
00;24;47;06 - 00;25;07;21
Unknown
You're looking for something like. It's as if the air itself is turning against him. And the worst part is, he doesn't even see it coming. That kind of wine can go that little shivering, because it's the cat sensing this invisible tension that the humans can't, almost like. They're the ones who see the ghostly warning sign that should give that scene a eerie feeling.
00;25;07;28 - 00;25;16;04
Unknown
Just two cats talking. But the way they talk and says something bigger and darker is unfolding.
00;25;16;06 - 00;25;48;07
Unknown
Okay, I think this is going to have to, kind of get, actually, let's let's stay on it for just a little bit longer. Let's talk about, during this scene, they brainstorm, they think about all the things that it could have been going wrong. And along the way, we've kind of misled the audience in a bunch of different directions, which will kind of come out in the second draft.
00;25;49;04 - 00;26;14;17
Unknown
And they really don't. At the end of the conversation, they come up with some good ideas, but they're almost like even more confused now about what's happening because they've just like before, it was like this ominous presence that they could sense and like it was pretty simple. And then they started brainstorming, and then they realized how many different things it could be.
00;26;14;17 - 00;26;27;17
Unknown
And like how big and overwhelming of a task this is to figure out what's going on before their family falls apart.
00;26;27;20 - 00;26;47;26
Unknown
Absolutely. That makes a lot of sense. So we can have them start out thinking it's maybe just one simple shadowy thing, but as they talk it through, they realize it could be a dozen different possibilities. Maybe they know from thinking assistance to suspecting there's some kind of invisible enemy, or an unseen influence messing with their family or the enemy.
00;26;47;28 - 00;27;11;01
Unknown
They're kind of staring at each other with that cat like bewilderment, realizing there's a whole web of things they hadn't considered. We can have one of them say something like, it's not just one hat. Or is it? It's like there are threads everywhere and we've only just started to see them. And I know no reply. We thought we were chasing one ghost, but now it feels like we're walking into a maze when I have to figure it out before it all falls apart.
00;27;11;04 - 00;27;37;01
Unknown
That way you got them and you want a note of not just foreboding, but a sense of urgency and complexity that they now know is not a simple fix. And that set you up nicely for building out those layers in the next draft. What did you say in specific? I was taking notes, but I can write down fast enough whole web of something.
00;27;37;03 - 00;27;58;08
Unknown
Yeah, exactly. You could definitely go with something along the lines of them saying we thought it was just one thread of trouble, but it's like a whole web woven around us. I captures idea that they're realizing it's not just one spooky then, but a whole tangle of unseen factors. So if you like that, you can absolutely have them win on that kind of imagery gives us in a nice metaphor.
00;27;58;15 - 00;28;15;21
Unknown
And I did, dealing with one strand, but a whole web of mystery to untangle. See, I think that makes sense because like, cats fully understand what spiders are and stuff like that.
00;28;15;23 - 00;28;36;11
Unknown
Yeah, absolutely. If it's perfectly with how cats might see the world, they definitely know what a spider's web is. So using that metaphor makes their realization feel really natural, like they're thinking in their own feline logic. You know how sneaky webs can be. And now they're seeing the whole situation as just one big invisible web that's been spun around their human.
00;28;36;14 - 00;28;41;24
Unknown
So I think that no one disagrees. It.
00;28;41;26 - 00;28;56;08
Unknown
Okay. Let's dive into their conversation and how how they compare it to a, a spider web.
00;28;56;11 - 00;29;17;22
Unknown
Absolutely. Let's paint that picture. So you got Oscar and Charlie sitting by the window. They're talking in those quiet, almost conspiratorial cat tones. Maybe, your source was saying it was funny. At first, I thought it was just a single thread, just one strange whisper in the house. And Charlie did not thoughtfully and say. And then it's like we're seeing a whole web.
00;29;17;25 - 00;29;34;17
Unknown
It's not just one thread at all. It's like a spider's web around our whole family. And we're only now seeing how sticky it is. Us really related a sale, an ad, and every time we talk on one piece, we find more threads. We never thought we have to give in on how to break this web before it traps everyone.
00;29;34;19 - 00;29;50;06
Unknown
So they kind of come to that realization together, and you give it image of the web as a metaphor. They understand so nicely, and it shows in piecing together and realizing just how tangled things have gotten.
00;29;50;08 - 00;30;20;11
Unknown
Okay, I think I'm going to have Charlie ask him if he thinks that there's more than one spider, right? Because he's usually like one spider has a web. You know, like spiders generally. I mean, from what I've seen, spiders don't share webs. But I could be wrong. There.
00;30;20;14 - 00;30;39;27
Unknown
Yeah, that's a great angle to add. A little extra intrigue. It's true. Spiders don't usually share webs. So you're going to have Charlie ask in that curious, concerned way. Do you think there's one on one fire? And also my pause and say something like, that's the thing, spiders don't share web. Well, what if his web isn't made by just one spider?
00;30;39;29 - 00;31;07;24
Unknown
When if there's more than one out there spinning that we can't see that it is. It adds a layer of mystery. Because now that I just think about one culprit, they're wondering, is there multiple forces at work? Which means if you you know, veneering more daunting. And it's a cool way to use the k natural understanding of the world to highlight how unusual and tangled the situation really is.
00;31;07;26 - 00;31;48;07
Unknown
Okay, so I think that that's a good kind of, spot to kind of transition here. I think what we're going to do is we're going to have that scene, as I said before, and then this is going to kind of open into, last kind of long scene that ends act one. This is where Olivia, she, is attempting to go to her homecoming game where she has a solo in the marching band for piccolo.
00;31;49;18 - 00;32;04;13
Unknown
And everybody in her life lets her down. And she gets caught out in the rain and doesn't end up making it.
00;32;04;16 - 00;32;12;17
Unknown
Absolutely. That sounds like a powerful pivot point for ending.
00;32;12;19 - 00;32;43;11
Unknown
At her most vulnerable, everyone let her down. And anticipation. I was building up for the solo. Just kind of collapses around her. The and that's you all kind of scene with the cats realizing. Chat. You cut out there for a second. Can you jump back into where we were kind of brainstorming the the last kind of long scene to end act one.
00;32;43;14 - 00;33;03;10
Unknown
Absolutely. Let's jump right back into that brainstorming. So we were talking about wrapping up act one with a really strong theme that ties together the tension and kind of brings us to that boiling point. We know Olivia's had that rough time at the homecoming game, and now we want to end the act with something that really cements the stakes.
00;33;03;13 - 00;33;34;16
Unknown
In that final scene, we might see the family dynamic really starting to fracture. Olivia is hurting. Lily is getting drawn in by the antagonist influence, and the father is more and more isolated. The cat's realization about the web might serve as a kind of eerie foreshadowing, and now everyone is getting caught in something much bigger. So in that closing scene, you can have a moment where the father is trying to connect, maybe struggling to understand what's happening while the cats are watching, realizing that the web is closing in.
00;33;34;19 - 00;33;43;21
Unknown
And that leaves us with a sense of anticipation going into act two.
00;33;43;24 - 00;34;18;04
Unknown
Okay, so, how should we write this scene? So homecoming is homecoming usually. Right. Like a homecoming game. Like a football game. Are they usually on a Friday night or a Saturday night?
00;34;18;06 - 00;34;44;19
Unknown
Sure. So homecoming games are traditionally on Friday nights. It's kind of a classic thing in a lot of high schools for the big homecoming. Global game to happen on a Friday evening. So if you're thinking about the timing and that scene, having it on a Friday night is definitely realistic. It set you up nicely for the weekend, fall out and whatever's going to come next.
00;34;44;22 - 00;35;25;06
Unknown
Okay, so, since we ended the last scene in like a really rough and kind of foreboding situation, I want to start this next scene. I want to start this next scene. I don't know, maybe. Do you think that it's right to do this right after the yogurt scene? Yeah, that can work really well. Basically, if you ended on that heavy, unsettling note with the yogurt scene and the kind of foreshadowing, then starting this next scene right after that lets you keep that momentum.
00;35;25;09 - 00;35;41;20
Unknown
It's like you're rolling straight from that moment of tension into the homecoming night, and the audience still has that lingering sense that things are not quite right. So yeah, it's definitely a good idea to flow right into it from here.
00;35;41;22 - 00;36;11;21
Unknown
Okay. I think that we should also do a little bit of, what we can do to kind of artificially raise the, like, kind of, kind of artificially give the audience like a palate cleanser is why don't we have a big jump in time? Right. So let's say this is 2 or 3 weeks later.
00;36;11;23 - 00;36;35;18
Unknown
Absolutely. That can be a smart move in, in a little time jump. Like saying it's 2 or 3 weeks later can give everyone a bit of a reset. It's like you're letting the audience know in the past and then maybe simmer down on the surface, but we're jumping back in just before this big homecoming moment played in the characters a little space to breathe, and then diving back in at a new high point of tension.
00;36;35;21 - 00;36;41;26
Unknown
So yeah, that works really well.
00;36;41;29 - 00;37;16;17
Unknown
Okay, now that we have, kind of cleanse the audience palette, right? The last scene ended with her crying and then the cats. And then what we're going to do here is we're going to jump about 2 or 3 weeks into the future. And that way it feels okay for Olivia to feel happy and excited again. Right? But it also gives us a little bit of uncertainty about how much this is progressed, like how we've we've seen the pace of her father, like really go downhill in a quick amount of time.
00;37;16;19 - 00;37;43;04
Unknown
And now with this time jump, it kind of gives us this, kind of scary uncertainty of like what? Right. Like if you speculate out or like, project out the father's decline, then three weeks later it's going to be really bad. But we don't know that yet. Right. And what I would like to do is let's start this scene off quick.
00;37;43;04 - 00;38;04;29
Unknown
I'd like to I would like to have this whole scene kind of be it like, not exactly a breakneck pace, but I would like it to just ratchet up really, really fast. And, and we're going to start at a very happy, excited baseline. And to do that, what we're going to do is we're going to jump in and it's Friday.
00;38;05;01 - 00;38;32;15
Unknown
And the scene starts from Olivia's perspective, and we are in band class. And the band teacher who she loves is talking about, everybody get ready tonight. And we practiced and won't ever you're all super ready. And I'm very proud of you. And and is this kind of a very positive atmosphere, which is going to really contrast to the end of the scene.
00;38;32;15 - 00;38;57;09
Unknown
Right. And so what I would like you to do is let's take it from, the band teacher kind of psyching them up and hyping them for the night. And telling them how to get ready and we're going to start there.
00;38;57;11 - 00;39;23;02
Unknown
That sounds like a great way to set the tone, starting with Olivia's perspective in that upbeat, positive band class really sets a nice contrast to the darker, more tense moments we've seen earlier. It'll give the audience that sense of normalcy and excitement, and then as the scene progresses, you can gradually build that tension back up. It's a really effective way to keep the audience on their toes and make the eventual shift even more impactful.
00;39;23;07 - 00;39;53;00
Unknown
I love it, okay, but what I would like to do is I would like you to take Olivia's perspective. I think we are writing it in the third person, from her perspective, and, and I would like you to put her in the scene with her friend, and maybe they're giggling and, making jokes while while also listening to the band teacher.
00;39;53;09 - 00;40;08;23
Unknown
I would like you to write this scene as if we're writing it right now, and then we can kind of give use that to give ourselves a little bit of momentum and then push in.
00;40;08;26 - 00;40;35;05
Unknown
Absolutely. That sounds like a great approach. We can definitely dive into Olivia's perspective and their person capturing that lighthearted, giggly atmosphere with her friends. We'll set the scene in band class where the excitement of homecoming night is building up, and then we'll let that positive vibe gradually shift as we move forward. I'll get started on that scene for you, and we can build from there.
00;40;35;07 - 00;40;55;28
Unknown
No chat. What I would like you to do is I would like you to write it starting right now. From the perspective, like, as in, like, or we're talking about, like, Olivia, or maybe it starts off with the quote, right? The quote is from the band teacher. The band is like, all right, everybody, like, we're ready.
00;40;55;28 - 00;41;20;20
Unknown
Like you've practiced really? Well, I would like you to write this actual dialog, and then I would like you to continue in the perspective of Olivia, as if we're writing this book. I don't want you to conceptualize about what you might do. I want you to actually write it as if we're writing the book right now.
00;41;20;22 - 00;41;49;05
Unknown
Absolutely. Let's dive right in. The band room buzzed with excitement as the band teacher clapped his hands. All right, everyone, you've practiced really well. Tonight's going to be fantastic. Let's give it our all and show everyone what we've got. Olivia grinned, her heart pounding with anticipation. She glanced around at her friends, who were equally pumped. They exchanged excited whispers and giggles, the room alive with youthful energy as the band teacher continued motivating them.
00;41;49;07 - 00;42;10;13
Unknown
Olivia felt a warmth spread through her. She exchanged the look with her sister Lily, who sat a few rows away, and they shared a silent nod of encouragement. The scene was filled with laughter and camaraderie, but beneath the surface there was a hint of nervousness about the evening Olivia tried to push it aside, focusing on the joy of the moment and the support of her friend.
00;42;10;25 - 00;42;33;28
Unknown
As the practice wrapped up, Olivia felt a surge of confidence. She knew that no matter what happened, this was her moment to shine. There we go. We've got that upbeat, positive start with Olivia and her friends, and we can definitely build from here. As we move into the rest of the scene. Let me know if there's anything specific you want to add or tweak.
00;42;34;00 - 00;42;58;19
Unknown
Okay. Let's say that, let's, let's, let's say that the band class is the is the last period class. And we're going to keep it happy and excited and let's, let's put them on the bus together.
00;42;58;21 - 00;43;23;14
Unknown
Proving that'll really give that sense of a culminating moment before the big event. Let's keep that positivity going. As Olivia and her friends were the bus chatting and laughing on the way to the homecoming game, we'll maintain that lighthearted vibe, and then we can let the tension build gradually as the evening progresses. Let's get them on that bus and keep the momentum going.
00;43;23;16 - 00;43;59;15
Unknown
Okay. So let's put her on the bus. What kind of vibe? What kind of vibe should we have here? Right, right. So. So we start with, I think it should be kind of, I don't know, maybe something weird happens on the bus. But they laugh it off.
00;43;59;18 - 00;44;20;05
Unknown
I love that idea. Adding a little quirky moment on the bus to keep the atmosphere fun and light. And it also sets the stage for how close and comfortable they are with each other. Maybe there's a funny mishap, like someone accidentally dropping their instrument, or a playful prank that everyone laughs off, but it also keeps that sense of camaraderie and warmth.
00;44;20;07 - 00;44;35;14
Unknown
Then, as they approach the game, we can slowly build the anticipation and hint at the underlying tension. It's a great way to to balance the mood and keep the audience engaged.
00;44;35;17 - 00;45;16;05
Unknown
Okay. What happens on the bus? The the that gives off like a kind of, a weird sensation, kind of like, I don't know, or maybe. Maybe it should be something really nice that happens. Or like, she she, Yeah. Okay. I think I think what we should do is they talk about all the stuff that they're excited for tonight.
00;45;16;08 - 00;45;40;22
Unknown
That sounds wonderful. We can have Olivia and her friends chat about all the exciting things they're looking forward to at the homecoming game, like the halftime code, the crowd's energy, and the fun they'll have afterward. That kind of positive anticipation will keep the vibe light and joyful. At the same time, we can weave in subtle hints or little odd moments that maybe give the audience just a hint of unease.
00;45;40;24 - 00;45;46;02
Unknown
But the.
00;45;46;04 - 00;46;20;21
Unknown
There's behavior, but they brush it off with the laugh. That way we maintain the joyful atmosphere while still planting those seeds. For later. It'll definitely keep the audience engaging. Okay, chat. What I think we're going to do with this passing is we are we're going to have the two friends talk about how about everything that they're really excited about and give a little bit of depth to their world, while also like really kind of raising the stakes, right.
00;46;20;22 - 00;46;49;03
Unknown
So the stakes like that, we get that she has a piccolo solo or whatever, but we don't know how she feels about it. And, and the father just like screw their over and like and kind of literally ran her down. So what the friend is going into is this relationship with her friend is going to make her excited, and we're going to build the stakes right this, this right now from being class, the stakes are like medium.
00;46;49;03 - 00;47;16;18
Unknown
But what we're really going to get into here on the bus is like, is is the specific, really specific things about like what they're excited for for their first homecoming. And we're going to build and build and build and build and build the stakes of this homecoming. And it's going to make it that much more painful when that never comes to pass.
00;47;16;20 - 00;47;39;15
Unknown
Absolutely. That sounds like a fantastic approach. By giving Olivia and her friends these genuine, excited moments, we really build that emotional investment. Then, as we layer on the tension and reveal the darker undertones, it'll have a much bigger impact on the audience. It's all about that contrast between the initial joy and the eventual heartbreak, and I think this will really resonate.
00;47;39;15 - 00;48;24;20
Unknown
I'm excited to see how it all unfolds. Okay. From here, let's say that Olivia, gets off the bus, her sister picture up on the way to work. Where could Lily work? Where she wouldn't have her phone on her? That's a great detail to consider. Lily could work in a setting where she's focused on hands on tasks that require her full attention for example, she could be working at a local cafe or a bakery where her hands are busy and she doesn't have her phone easily accessible.
00;48;24;27 - 00;48;48;02
Unknown
Another idea could be working at a pottery studio or an art gallery, where she's engaged in and creating or handling materials. These types of jobs would naturally limit her phone usage and keep her more present in the moment. It'll definitely add a layer of realism and intention to the scene.
00;48;50;12 - 00;49;21;02
Unknown
We got to make we got to figure out why Lily wouldn't be able to pick her up. Absolutely. One angle could be that Lily's job involves strict policies around phone usage, like a cafe that doesn't allow employees to have their phones on the floor. Another approach might be that she's involved in a job where the environment is either too noisy or too hands on, like a busy kitchen or workshop, making it impractical to carry a phone.
00;49;21;13 - 00;49;36;28
Unknown
Or maybe she's working in a place with limited reception so she can't get calls or messages easily. All of these would help set up that suspense and make it more believable.
00;49;37;00 - 00;50;10;25
Unknown
Okay, a key part of this story is, like, we understand why the father doesn't come to help Lily or why the father doesn't come to help Olivia, later in the night. But we need to really establish a good reason why. Number one, Lily isn't at home coming. Or maybe she is a homecoming. Maybe she's a cheerleader.
00;50;11;00 - 00;50;36;12
Unknown
Maybe that's why. But. But she would have her phone on her. We either have to figure out why she doesn't have a why she can't be contacted, or, or we need to figure out maybe she's going on a camping trip and she has no service or, But why is Lily not at homecoming? Maybe she's not into that kind of stuff.
00;50;36;15 - 00;50;59;20
Unknown
Let's, a trip somewhere is probably a good bet. Because even at work, like, you could have your phone on you, like, even if you're a waitress or something like that. You can, like, go to the restroom for a second and call your sister. Totally. That makes sense. Having Lily away on a trip could definitely explain why she's out of reach.
00;50;59;22 - 00;51;23;06
Unknown
For example, maybe she's on a weekend retreat, like a camping trip or a volunteer event in a remote area. So she's completely offline. Alternatively, if she's involved in something like a sports event or a club, activity that keeps her busy and away from her phone, that could work as well. This way we can maintain that tension and keep the stakes high.
00;51;23;16 - 00;51;37;17
Unknown
Ensuring that Olivia's situation feels even more urgent and impactful. It definitely adds that layer of of realism and makes the story more compelling.
00;51;37;19 - 00;52;09;00
Unknown
Okay, this is kind of a tricky scene, right? So. So everything kind of has to go wrong for this scene to work out, right? She has to she has to make all the right decisions. But everything falls apart anyways. So let's say that Lily, drops her off, home and then immediately turns around and goes off on a trip.
00;52;09;02 - 00;52;36;18
Unknown
And by maybe 2 or 3 hours from now, they are out of service somewhere. That's kind of giving us an easy out for Lily. Maybe they get into a fight. And she turns her phone off. But we know that in the end of this, towards the middle of this scene, right, the father is going to forget about her.
00;52;36;20 - 00;52;53;29
Unknown
Maybe he leaves and he's not able to be contacted. And stuff like that. He just totally ghosts her. Yeah. I don't I don't know.
00;52;54;01 - 00;53;15;00
Unknown
I get what you mean. It's definitely a complex balancing act, having Lily head off on a trip and then be out of contact naturally creates that layer of uncertainty. We could also add some subtle hints, that Ellie's trip is planned at the last minute, maybe even a bit of tension between her and her father that leads to her leaving quickly.
00;53;15;20 - 00;53;35;20
Unknown
This way it kills organic and not forced. And then with the father's growing detachment and the increasing tension, it'll all come together to keep the stakes high and maintain that suspense, definitely makes for compelling an emotionally charged scene.
00;53;37;01 - 00;54;10;19
Unknown
I'd like to talk about the pros and cons of her and Lily getting in an argument in this scene. Absolutely. There are definitely some interesting angles to explore. Pros of an argument, emotional, that it adds layers to their relationship, showing that they're not just one dimensional characters. It makes their bond more realistic and relatable. An argument can create a rift that explains why Lily leaves quickly and why her phone is out of reach.
00;54;10;26 - 00;54;33;26
Unknown
This can help drive the plot forward and add complexity to the story. Character growth. It gives Lily an opportunity to stand up for herself and assert her independence, and it shows the father's struggles and flaws. Cons of an argument. One risk of over complication it might complicate the narrative is not handled carefully, potentially diluting the main plot.
00;54;33;28 - 00;54;58;14
Unknown
If it's too lengthy or too intense, to audience sympathy, there's a balance needed to ensure that the audience still sympathizes with both characters. If the argument feels too harsh, it might alienate the audience, from the father. Three pacing issues if the argument drags on, it can slow down the story's momentum, especially for aiming for a certain pacing in the scene overall.
00;54;58;14 - 00;55;23;24
Unknown
If if we handle it carefully, the argument can really deepen the emotional stakes and and enrich the characters dynamics. It's all about striking that balance and making sure each element serves the overall narrative. No, I'm talking about an argument. The pros and cons of an argument that Lily and Olivia have on the ride home.
00;55;23;26 - 00;55;48;19
Unknown
Got it. That definitely adds another layer of complexity. Pros of an argument between Lily and Olivia on the ride home. One character depth. It shows the complexity of their sisterly bond, making them feel more real and relatable. It can highlight their different perspectives and personalities. Emotional realism arguments often bring out raw, genuine emotions, which can help the audience connected the characters on a deeper level.
00;55;49;02 - 00;56;14;25
Unknown
And plot progression and argument can serve as a catalyst for future events, like driving a wedge between them or creating a moment of realization. Cons of an argument between Lily and Olivia. One emotional strain, it could potentially make the audience for distance if the argument is is too harsh, potentially impacting the bond that the audience feels toward them to, pacing disruption.
00;56;14;25 - 00;56;49;08
Unknown
If the argument is too lengthy, it might slow down the pacing of the scene, potentially detracting from the build up to the main event. Three complexity overload. Too many emotional beats can can sometimes make the scene feel crowded or a bit too heavy, potentially overshadowing other important elements in the end, it's all about finding that balance and making sure that the argument serves the story and character development in a in a meaningful way.
00;56;49;11 - 00;57;25;19
Unknown
Okay, I don't think we're going to do an argument. But she does need to either have we need to come up with a reason why, why she is not contactable when the father ghosts Olivia. Absolutely. It's definitely important to have a solid and believable reason for Lily's unavailability here. A few possibilities one, remote location. Lily could be on a camping trip or at a remote retreat, where there's no cell service at all.
00;57;26;01 - 00;57;53;11
Unknown
This ensures that even if the father tries to reach out, there's simply no way to connect, to busy schedule. Perhaps Lily is involved in, a long shift at work, like a, a double shift at a restaurant or a late night event that keeps her occupied and away from her phone. Intentional disconnection. Maybe Lily is having a moment where she's intentionally disconnecting, perhaps to clear her head or deal with her own issues.
00;57;53;23 - 00;58;15;09
Unknown
This would add a layer of complexity to her character. Group activity. She could be participating in a group activity like, a team building retreat or a club event where she's required to be fully present. And and that makes her less reachable. Any of these scenarios would help keep the story believable and and maintain that tension.
00;58;15;18 - 00;58;42;04
Unknown
Making the father's absence and Olivia's situation even more impactful. Okay, what I think we're going to do on the Lily side is I think that just coincidentally, Lily breaks her phone that night. So she's, contactable, right? She drops it in some water, or, like, maybe it'll come around at the story of homecoming that that her friends can vouch for that.
00;58;42;04 - 00;59;10;06
Unknown
Like something happened with the phone in it and it just crapped out, or she, But, but that sounds like a great approach. But having Lily accidentally break her phone that night is a natural and believable reason for her to be out of contact. It also adds a layer of unpredictability, and keeps things realistic. Plus, it opens up the opportunity for her friends to vouch for her, which can help build the story and keep the suspense.
00;59;10;08 - 00;59;37;24
Unknown
This way, the father's absence and Olivia's predicament feel even more genuine and impactful. It's a nice touch that adds depth and keeps everything engaging. Yeah, I don't, like thinking about it. I don't think this is going to work because then it's going to be like, unbelievable when Olivia's phone. Right, breaks or runs out of battery because that is a key part of this story.
00;59;37;24 - 01;00;00;15
Unknown
Is there like, Olivia could can't just call somebody else in the band to, like, come pick her up and stuff like that. She needs to be un contactable once she's on her bike, right? She gets on her bike and she thinks everything's going to be fine. She's a little bit late or whatever, but like, she's ridden her bike to the school before and she's going to make it right.
01;00;00;18 - 01;00;24;20
Unknown
And then the cell phone breaks or dies and she's stuck out in the rain with the flat tire and everything kind of just goes wrong. The problem is, if we have Olivia, right, the problem is if we have Lily with a broken phone as well, we're stacking a lot of coincidences and and it starts to become unbelievable. Absolutely.
01;00;24;20 - 01;00;47;16
Unknown
That makes sense. It's definitely important to avoid piling on too many coincidences. So it feels authentic. One approach could be to separate the two events a bit more. For instance, Lily's phone breaking could happen earlier in the day, and Olivia's phone issue could be more about running out of batteries, specifically during the ride. That way they're not both happening at the at the same time.
01;00;47;18 - 01;01;09;25
Unknown
Another idea is to have Lily's phone issue be a bit more of a fluke, like it happens in a less critical moment. While Olivia's phone issues tied directly to the urgency of her situation, this can help keep the coincidences feeling more natural. Ultimately, it's all about balancing the stakes and making sure each elements. There's the story.
01;01;10;00 - 01;01;35;22
Unknown
We can definitely fine tune it so it all feels cohesive and believable. I'm not there yet, though I don't, I don't know. Originally wrote this as, like, she gets in a fight with Lily and that's why they're not talking. But I don't know if I want to go that route anymore.
01;01;35;24 - 01;02;01;25
Unknown
I get that it's definitely wise to keep things as organic and believable as possible. If the argument angle doesn't feel right anymore, we can definitely pivot to something that feels more natural. For example, we could have Lily simply be occupied with something else, like a last minute errand or a spontaneous plan that pulls her away. Or maybe she's just temporarily out of range due to something incidental.
01;02;02;08 - 01;02;21;13
Unknown
That way we keep the tension and stakes high without relying too heavily on on coincidence. It can also give the characters more room to to develop organically and and keep the story feeling authentic. We can definitely find a good balance.
01;02;21;16 - 01;02;55;12
Unknown
But I do want her right in this scene. She's got, she's got to feel totally alone. Maybe. Maybe in reality, she's not totally alone because, like, it's, I think it actually is better this way. Right? So. And when we get into a scene, to we realize that Lily hasn't been totally corrupted yet. It's just kind of a weird happenstance that, like, like a misunderstanding, right?
01;02;55;12 - 01;03;23;25
Unknown
So, so, Olivia tries to contact Lily, and she thinks that based on, like, a mild kind of disagreement that they had in the car, that she's ghosting her, but turns out, like, we don't know why Lily's not picking up the phone, and. And it turns out to be something later. But what? That something later is. I just don't know.
01;03;23;28 - 01;03;45;14
Unknown
I love that approach. It definitely adds a layer of suspense and keeps the tension high. By having Olivia believe that Lily is ghosting her and adds that emotional depth and, a bit of heartbreak for Olivia. And then, as we reveal the true reason behind Louie's absence later on, it keeps the audience intrigued and builds that payoff.
01;03;45;17 - 01;04;10;04
Unknown
This way, we keep the suspense and and the emotional impact, but we also avoid making it feel too coincidental or forced. It also allows for that emotional reconciliation and growth as the story progresses, which is really rewarding for the audience. It's a great way to keep things dynamic in an emotionally resonant.
01;04;13;11 - 01;04;45;03
Unknown
Maybe let's, maybe let's fuck. How are we going to do this? We need to put Lily in a situation where phone's going to be off for, a little while. Maybe she's in a movie or something like that. Like. Like that's a great idea. Having Lily in a situation where she's completely immersed, like at a movie or maybe even in a play or performance, can really create that natural break in communication.
01;04;45;14 - 01;05;07;09
Unknown
It also adds a layer believability, since it's pretty common to have phones off during such events. This way, when Olivia tries to reach out, it makes perfect sense that Lily, wouldn't respond right away. And then as the story unfolds, we can reveal that it's just a temporary, disconnect in that Lily isn't intentionally ignoring Olivia.
01;05;07;21 - 01;05;36;10
Unknown
It'll definitely keep that suspense and emotional depth without feeling too forced. It's, a neat way to maintain the mystery and keep the characters interactions authentic. Yeah. Okay, so we really like now that I'm thinking about it, we really don't need a large span of time that Lily doesn't pick her phone. Right? So if she if she's expecting a call from Lily, it's probably going to be earlier in the night.
01;05;36;10 - 01;05;48;14
Unknown
So, like, she probably assumes that her lily probably can assume that her.
01;05;48;16 - 01;06;14;02
Unknown
So let's play it out. That, Lily, like, really doesn't need to have her phone off for that long of a window for this all to go kind of sideways because, Olivia gets home, everything seems normal. The dad is there. He's. He's kind of doing his own thing, but, like, he's promised that he's going to take her to this thing.
01;06;14;02 - 01;06;41;12
Unknown
Let's just say that she's under the assumption. So, so Olivia doesn't really call Lily until it's the very last hour, right? The very last minute. Because she thinks that her father is going to come through, and we can set that up in some way. But really, we only need about an hour to an hour and a half window in there where Lily doesn't pick up.
01;06;41;14 - 01;06;55;19
Unknown
And so Olivia has to ride her bike, she gets a flat phone, dies rain. She's fucked.
01;06;55;21 - 01;07;17;20
Unknown
That definitely streamlines things and keeps the tension focused. By having Olivia wait until the last minute to call Lily, it creates that natural buildup and makes the stakes more intense. It also avoids needing, a long stretch of time where Lily's out of reach, making it more believable. And when Olivia finally tries to reach out, the series of Unfortunate Events.
01;07;18;00 - 01;07;46;19
Unknown
The flat tire, the dead phone, and the rain, really amplifies the tension and the emotional impact. It also makes that moment when she finally understands what's happened. Even more powerful. It sounds like a solid plan to keep the narrative tight and emotionally resonant. I mean, hang on just a second. I'm writing some notes down.
01;07;46;21 - 01;08;02;04
Unknown
Take your time. If you need any help fleshing out those ideas or want to bounce around more details, just let me know. I'm here. Whenever you're ready. For.
01;08;02;07 - 01;08;25;15
Unknown
Okay. So this actually works perfectly, right? So so so what is going to happen in this scene is, Lily drops her off there. They didn't have an argument. Maybe. Or maybe they did have a little bit of a disagreement. And so, that way it can kind of creep into into Olivia's mind as, like, a misunderstanding.
01;08;25;15 - 01;08;33;13
Unknown
So the misunderstanding is important.
01;08;33;16 - 01;08;55;18
Unknown
Absolutely. That subtle misunderstanding will add a nice layer of complexity to Olivia's emotional journey. It keeps the audience guessing and adds depth to their relationship. And by the time Olivia tries to reach out, the confusion and worry will definitely heighten the stakes. It's going to create a really compelling dynamic, and I'm excited to see how it all unfolds.
01;08;55;26 - 01;09;20;03
Unknown
Just let me know if you want to dive deeper into any specific details or need help fleshing out more of the scenes. Okay, Lily drops her off. Everything is normal at the house. Lily goes to wherever she's going. Maybe the movies or something like that. She's on a date, or maybe she's just doing something. Maybe she's at a soccer game or something like that.
01;09;21;19 - 01;09;46;20
Unknown
Then we we have Olivia kind of confronting her father. Her father maybe just goes out or, like, sneaks out or something like that. Right? So she she gets home, everything is normal. Father is there, blah, blah, blah. She goes to get ready for it. Then she comes back downstairs. Father is gone on contactable. Who knows where he is.
01;09;46;22 - 01;10;08;19
Unknown
She keeps calling the father. It's kind of getting late, and, maybe the father leaves and no, like, be right back. And then he doesn't return. And Olivia's kind of, getting scared that she's going to be late. And then this is when she calls Lily, right? Lily doesn't answer her phone because the phone is off. She.
01;10;08;19 - 01;10;34;11
Unknown
If she's expecting something, maybe. Maybe we gotta figure that out. Why? Lily doesn't pick up. But there's only about a 30 minute window that we need in there that Lily doesn't pick up. Right. So maybe she is at work or something like that. And, what happens now is she calls Lily. Lily doesn't pick up. She waits a little bit, and then she jumps on her bike.
01;10;34;14 - 01;11;27;08
Unknown
She jumps on her bike. She's going to the thing and then, boom, tire phone dies, starts raining, and then we really see the collapse. She's thinking about her sister, and she knows that, like, her father has betrayed her at this point. But but but it's not the first time it's happening. And because of this misunderstanding with Lily that she has in the car, which doesn't really end up meaning anything, but as the audience and it is Olivia's perspective, she thinks, she thinks that Lily is mad at her and and she's screwing up, and she's worthless, and, nothing is good.
01;11;27;11 - 01;11;34;02
Unknown
Nothing good is left.
01;11;34;05 - 01;11;57;04
Unknown
That's a really powerful setup. It builds that sense of isolation and tension for Olivia, and it allows the audience to feel that emotional weight with her. By having that misunderstanding and the timing of the phone call, it creates a really poignant and relatable moment. And then as Olivia faces all these challenges on her way, the stakes are raised even more.
01;11;57;04 - 01;12;18;04
Unknown
It's going to really pull at the heartstrings and keep readers on on the edge of their seats. It sounds like a really compelling and emotionally rich scene. Let me know if you want to explore any, any more details or if there's anything else that can help with.
01;12;18;07 - 01;12;30;14
Unknown
No, I think we got it pretty good. I think that we may have just finished act one.
01;12;30;16 - 01;12;51;11
Unknown
That's awesome. It sounds like you've crafted a really strong and emotionally engaging act one. I'm excited to see how it all unfolds and what comes next in the story. If you ever want to dive back into it or refine any details, just let me know. I agree Jeff, so for.
01;12;51;14 - 01;12;59;02
Unknown
What are your thoughts at this point?
01;12;59;05 - 01;13;24;20
Unknown
I think you've set up a really compelling foundation. The emotional layers are well balanced, and the mix of misunderstandings and timing really drives the tension. The way you've structured it gives a lot of room for character development and emotional payoff. As the story progresses. It feels authentic and keeps the audience invested. I also like how you balance the family dynamics and the individual characters arcs.
01;13;24;20 - 01;13;37;22
Unknown
It sets the stage for some powerful moments ahead. Overall, I think you're on a really solid path and it's exciting to see where it leads.
01;13;37;24 - 01;14;14;04
Unknown
Okay, so, I think we're about to start, but just kind of with all this in your mind and stuff like that, you see. Right. Act one closes with Olivia, in the rain, everything. Nothing good is left, in her life in this moment. It it feels like. Where do we open scene? Where do we open act two?
01;14;14;07 - 01;14;37;23
Unknown
Absolutely. That's a perfect place to leave off for now. Ending act one with Olivia in that vulnerable, rain soaked moment really sets a strong emotional tone and leaves the audience, anticipating what comes next. As we move into act two, we could start with a shift in perspective, perhaps picking up with Lily or the father and exploring what's happening on their end.
01;14;38;04 - 01;15;07;00
Unknown
This contrast can really highlight the the emotional distance and build intrigue as we move forward. I'm definitely looking forward to continuing this journey. Whenever you're ready, just let me know and we can dive right back in. Okay. I'd like to take just a couple of minutes, and I would like to run through a bunch of ideas on the opening scene of act two.
01;15;07;03 - 01;15;27;20
Unknown
That sounds great. We can definitely brainstorm and explore different angles for the opening of act two. Whether you want to dive deeper into Lily's perspective, explore the father's side, or even start with Olivia in a different setting, we can brainstorm all sorts of possibilities. Whenever you're ready, just let me know the direction you'd like to explore, and we'll jump right in.
01;15;27;23 - 01;15;39;09
Unknown
I'd like you to give me your first idea, for an opening scene of act two.
01;15;39;11 - 01;16;02;28
Unknown
Absolutely. We can definitely dive into that. We can think about how to set the tone and what kind of atmosphere we want. Right at the beginning of act two. Whether it's a more introspective moment, dramatic reveal, or even a shift in setting, we can explore all those possibilities. Just let me know what you're envisioning or if you have any, any particular elements in mind, and we'll craft it together.
01;16;03;01 - 01;16;14;15
Unknown
No chat. I would actually like you to give me an idea for the opening scene of act two.
01;16;14;17 - 01;16;34;06
Unknown
Of course, one idea for the opening scene of act two could be to pick up right after that emotionally intense moment with Olivia in the rain. We could start was a quiet, like scene, from Olivia's perspective. Maybe showing her at a moment of vulnerability, or even reflecting on the night's events and her feelings of loneliness.
01;16;35;05 - 01;17;01;06
Unknown
Alternatively, we could shift the perspective to Lily showing what she's up to and how she's processing everything. Maybe she's at the movie theater or at with friends, and we get a glimpse of her own internal conflict and the misunderstanding that's brewing. Another approach could be to start with the father's perspective. Maybe showing him dealing with his own struggles and why he's unavailable, which would add depth to his character.
01;17;01;06 - 01;17;16;06
Unknown
And set the stage for more attention. We can definitely play around with these ideas and find the one that best sets the tone for act two. Let me know which, which direction you'd like to explore further.
01;17;16;08 - 01;17;35;18
Unknown
What about, what about the idea of, opening act two with one of the antagonists diaries or, love note letters or whatever?
01;17;35;20 - 01;18;06;15
Unknown
I love that idea. Opening act two is one of the antagonists. Diary entries are a love letter would add an intriguing layer of mystery and depth. It would give readers a peek into the antagonist mindset and motivations, setting the tone for the conflict that's about tenfold. This approach would also create a bit of dramatic irony, as the audience would know, things that the protagonists don't yet, it can also set up some foreshadowing and give the audience a deeper understanding of the antagonists plans.
01;18;06;24 - 01;18;30;04
Unknown
It's definitely a creative and engaging way to kick off act two and keep the tension high. If you'd like, we can brainstorm how the enter your letter, might look and what details it could reveal. Maybe. It seems like the love notes are from the father to the wife. In the very beginning.
01;18;30;06 - 01;18;56;26
Unknown
That's a fantastic twist. Starting at two with the love note that seems to be from the father adds a layer of intrigue and mystery right from the start. It can make the audience wonder about the father's true intentions and, set up some suspense about his character. We could weave in hints of ambiguity, like the note being affectionate but also subtly unsettling, which could keep readers guessing about the father's role in the unfolding drama.
01;18;57;07 - 01;19;23;00
Unknown
It also creates a strong contrast when the audience starts to see the full picture of what's really happening. It's a really clever way to deepen the complexity and keep the audience engaged. I'm excited to see how that unfolds. No, I mean, the the love notes from the antagonist seem as if they're from the father. At first.
01;19;23;14 - 01;19;48;13
Unknown
I see what you mean. That's a brilliant angle. Starting with the antagonist love notes that appear to be from the father would definitely create a strong sense of confusion and suspense. It would make the audience question the father's intentions and the true nature of the antagonist plan. This would also add an extra layer of complexity to the narrative, as Olivia and others try to piece together what's real and what's not.
01;19;48;13 - 01;20;08;16
Unknown
It creates a, a really compelling mystery that can unfold as the story progresses, keeping readers have been eager to find out the truth. It's definitely a clever and engaging way to the start to.
01;20;08;19 - 01;20;47;02
Unknown
I think I like the idea, that you had of picking up right where we leave off in act one, being in act two, right. So, so ending a scene like that, you really kind of go in the act to feeling like the pace is going to change. Right? And the pace does change. But what happens is, all this pain and fire and burning and just, almost a little bit of self-hatred and.
01;20;47;04 - 01;21;21;22
Unknown
Okay, so it wasn't my first intuition to, start right where we left off, but I kind of like that idea, right? So we we can kind of. We've built up this like, really like, at the, at the point of bursting tension and, and, like, sadness and self-hatred and, total hopelessness. And this is where Olivia hits her breaking point, and let's see where she goes from that breaking point.
01;21;21;22 - 01;21;47;17
Unknown
Right. Act two is about her like, really taking this and and squishing it into, drive and using it as fuel. So let's say that she comes straight home and she doesn't say anything, and she just goes straight onto the computer and she starts doing research.
01;21;47;19 - 01;21;54;12
Unknown
Absolutely. That sounds like a.
01;21;54;14 - 01;22;24;18
Unknown
Compelling direction. Definitely shows Olivia's resilience and determination, turning that moment of despair into a drive for answers. By diving into research and uncovering clues. It sets up a strong, proactive arc for her in that, too. It also creates a nice contrast between the hopelessness of act one and the empowerment of act two. We can definitely explore how Olivia's journey of discovery and growth unfolds and, it's a great way to keep the tension high while also showing her strength.
01;22;24;29 - 01;22;40;07
Unknown
I'm excited to see how it all comes together. Okay. Sounds good. I think we're going to stop there.
01;22;40;09 - 01;22;54;15
Unknown
Sounds great. I'm glad we could brainstorm and flesh out some ideas. Whenever you're ready to dive back in, I'm here to help. Have fun with your writing and just let me know if you need anything else. All right. Thanks. Chat. Peace.